June 30

June 29

June 28: Relay for Life

Cancer.

It's a dirty word. 

And it will remain just that, just an abstract concept or a disease, until it hits you close to home. A friend. A relative. A family member. 

You. 

Then cancer is no longer just a dirty word. It has a face. A name. It becomes personal. It breaks your heart. There are real people who struggle with this disease every day. Some will survive, many won't. 

It's funny how in our selfish human nature, terrible things--cancer, human trafficking, poverty, mental illness, abuse--are so incredibly easy to ignore until they break into our tiny bubble of a world and wreck everything we thought we knew. Until they have a face, and a name. But there is beauty and healing and comfort in the wreckage. There is restoration and hope. But we have to first acknowledge, feel and mourn the wreckage before we can experience any of that.

Relay for Life 2013. When Tosha was actively undergoing treatment for cancer, Clayton gave her his funny glasses so that "she would have more hair." Out of the mouth of babes...

And you know what that is? It's called love, and next to loving God, it's what we're on this earth to do. That's our calling, or mission. True love isn't like what you see in the movies. It's not always ooey gooey and warm and fuzzy. It's not what you want to do or what makes you happy. True love is completely opposite of selfishness. It puts others first, especially when it means sacrifice. True love runs toward when everything in you wants to run away.

Maybe it's not cancer. Maybe there's another burden that the Lord has placed on your heart. Maybe you've been ignoring the pull the meet someone you know in the depths of their pain and mess. And it's hard. It won't be easy. But there will be comfort and hope and healing and even joy on the other end, and you will never experience the true depth of those unless you first wade through the abyss of pain. 

What is the Lord calling you to run toward today?

June 27: Adventures in Tye Dye

Relay for Life is tomorrow, and we need to wear tye dye shirts this year. So of course I waited until the day before to make them. Because, that's what I do. And the directions said to wear gloves, but I apparently have a compliance problem. Ben keeps asking where the rest of the Blue Man Group is. 

The shirts turned out really cute, though! Go team Roberts! And The Glitter Effect, too! :)

June 26: Summer Defined

Swimming + playing outside + baseball games + picnics + Popsicles + Wing Cookoffs + staying up late + lightning bugs + perfect weather = SUMMER

What equals summer for you??

June 25: To Be Really Good at Something

I spent a large portion of my life up to this point trying to figure out what I was really good at, finding somewhere to stake my proverbial flag, claim as my own, and do that one thing to the degree of expertise. Was it Social Work? Card-making? Couponing? Writing? Or any number of things in-between? As much as I enjoy all of those things, I never really felt like they were "the one" as far as a life calling.

And how do you decide on that one thing to pour your life into? That's a huge decision. What if you decide on the wrong thing? What if you decide on the right thing, but you don't feel like doing it anymore after about ten years? What if the real life version of it is not at all how you pictured it would be? What if you put your stake down, and after looking back at your entire life's work, you realize you've merely been chasing the wind??

As for me, I not only have a problem with following through and finishing, but I tend to get bored with things after a while and want to move onto something else. Then I realized this. I don't want to be better at anything else in this world then following Christ. THAT is my life's calling. THAT is my goal. THAT is a vocation completely worth driving your stake deep into with abandon, because the God of the universe didn't hesitate to do any less for you when He sent His own Son to earth to be nailed to a cross. For you. And for me. He died so that we may live abundantly.

Anything and everything else is second only to that. And when that most important piece is in it's rightful place, God will indeed use whatever He calls me to do in a most powerful way.

I don't have to figure it out. I don't have to see the final picture. I just have to say yes today.

June 24

Today was better. Success! :)

June 23

We had swimming lesson this morning, and while the older two LOVED IT, Toby was crying & scared of the water... It's times like this when I remember that he's only three. He's still so little. I hope he warms up to the idea, or it's going to be a painful two weeks.

At lunch I tried to give Clayton a handful of watermelon because he hadn't gotten any, and he refused. I asked him what fruit he planned on eating then, since watermelon was the only option. He said, "mom, I don't need any watermelon. I have bacon." 

Um, nice try buddy, but I'm afraid that doesn't count. ;) Now, if Micheal Symon were in charge, on the other hand...

#pointsfortheattempt

June 22

I literally had someone else's poop smeared on my flood-length pajama pants tonight. Yep. Motherhood is glamorous. 

June 21

June 20

I've been on this hotdog kick lately, which is disturbing to me. I ate some for breakfast this morning. 

Breakfast.

This is serious.

I mean, I generally like to think that I'm a pretty healthy eater. Besides my Starbucks addiction. And my thing with French fries (and pizza) on Fridays. And my excessive condiment usage. #putsranchonallthethings

Besides all that. But hey, we all have our vices, right? I shall add hotdogs to my list. ;)

June 19

Baseball. Sometimes, it's our life. And sometimes, that's ok.

Go Cardinals!! :)

June 18

June 17

June 16: Splash Pad and Mom Fail...

Although this photo looks cute and bright and happy, today was totally a big, huge Mom Fail kinda day... I reacted in anger more times then I can count, and I apologized even more then that. My encouragements didn't outweigh my criticisms, I'm sure. 

I think I go through this every summer--I seem to forget how to be with my children all the live long day without wanting to kill them. Or lose my mind. Maybe I should've been born a hamster and then I could just eat them all and call it a day. 

Seriously though, they should prescribe a mild sedative for mothers so that we can survive the long summer months with some sense of peace and sanity remaining come August. Anyone know a guy??

#I'mtotallykidding

#mostlykidding

#65.5%kidding...

June 15: Happy Father's Day!!

Daddy took us to get coffee & to the park tonight, on his special day. Toby pulled on Ben's shirt, wanting him to come play on the jungle gym, and said, "come on, pal!!" And Ben did go run and play and even slid down the slide. He is our pal. He is a great husband & father.

Happy Father's Day to a daddy who is wonderful in every way. We love you much!!! 

Father's Day 2013. Back in the day when, you know, he had hair. ;)

June 14

June 13

June 12

The kids rooms--they were filthy. It was hard to see the actual carpet under the carpet of stuff. Please refer to exhibit June 10. Stepping on Legos painful and not being able to find anything in the everything frustrating. While they were away this week, I cleaned up. 3 big bags of toys to garage sale (so far) and 3 garbage bags of trash. TRASH. From their rooms. God help me, I'm raising little hoarders. 

#realityTVherewecome

June 11

First win of the season for the Cardinals! 

June 10

June 9

Toby's first Tee Ball game!! :) He was so cute. And none of them had any clue what they were doing. It was hilarious.

June 8

June 7

Crapulous. Am I the only one that didn't know that was a word?? But I'm kinda glad it is, and I will make it a point to use it often from here on out. :)

June 6: The City Never Sleeps. Sometimes I Don't Either.

It's summer in the city. You can tell not only by the concrete that singes the delicate skin on the bottoms of your bare feet, freshly emerged from their cocoon of warm fuzzy socks and winter boots and yet to be roughened by the scrapes and stubbs of the season, but by the dramatic increase in the ambient outdoor noise. Sirens wailing down the street, music blaring out car windows, people hollering and banging, coming and going. Campfires crackling, children laughing, dogs barking. The city never sleeps, especially during the summer months.

As I was thinking about getting dinner ready tonight, incredibly later then I should've been pondering such things, I found myself wanting a fourth cup of coffee. It smelled so good sitting there on the counter, freshly brewed with a dash of cinnamon, and I have been in a fog most of the day today that I just can't seem to shake, no matter how hard I try. I woke up late this morning and have been behind ever since.

I decide on breakfast potatoes and quiche for dinner tonight, only to find that we had three remaining potatoes and less then a dozen eggs. In my foggy and procrastinating state, with no plan B and even less time, I went ahead with the menu anyways. I scramble for things to fatten up the quiche and try to stir the meager helping of potatoes around in the pan with no luck, as they stick to the pan more and more with each scrape of the spatula, forming a crusty, burnt layer of starch on the bottom. And I forgot to grease the bottom of the quiche pan, so that will turn out about the same…

What is wrong with me? I think. I struggle to find some poignant thought to explain my state, some eloquent way of describing it in order to find inspiration and encouragement in the most mundane experiences of this day, like cooking dinner in a fog. Why can't I think straight? Why is inspiration evading me today? Why don't I have any thoughts?? I need some thoughts to go with my collage!! Any thoughts. Please.


And then it finally breaks through the fog. I. AM. TIRED.


T-I-R-E-D.


Oh.


That explains a lot. I reflect on my week to realize that we have been up with the dog, who has had a pooping issue, several times a night for the past couple nights. And then you add in the night I drank coffee too late, the night that I was stewing on issues instead of giving them to the Lord, the night with a restless spouse, and then last night when the baby woke up at 4:30am, after I'd only finally fallen asleep a few hours before. I'm tired. And in a tired, non-inspired, thoughtless fog.

And you're just a different person when you're tired, you know? This tired person version of me is not my favorite form that I come in, so on that note, and despite the fact that I did in fact have that fourth cup of coffee {I may have just fallen over flat on my face if I didn't, though, so it was really a matter of survival, a basic life or death issue}, I'm going to get some sleep.

And hopefully I'll make more sense tomorrow.


Night!

June 5

June 4: My Aching Mother Heart

The kids are running around outside in the rain, stomping in puddles, spiking up wet locks, shrieking with laughter, and trying to tag each other amidst the pitter patter. These are the things that childhoods are made of. Things that they should be made of, rather. Today I find myself desperately holding onto and relishing moments like this, treasuring the innocence, knowing that it's rare and fleeting in today's culture.

I want to sit on the porch with my cup of coffee and watch them run and play and splash for years and years. I don't want them to grow up. To meet the evil in the world face to face, to experience pain, loss, betrayal. I know that one day it will come, though. And I also know that when it does, that God is and will continue to be good.

We shared the park down the road today with a group of girls, not more then a few years older then Clayton. I'm guessing in their tweens. They were laughing and joking with each other by us on the swings, and when the cussing started, I politely asked them to tone it down for the little ears who have a tendency to repeat everything. They complied for a while, until their friends showed up. We decided to walk back home when they started singing a song to the tune of "I like having sex, I like getting high…"

Oh, how my aching mother heart wanted to run over there and shake them back into reality. I wanted to sit down with them and tell them that they are worth more then that, that they can be more then that. No doubt some of them were singing from experience, or at the very least out of a desire to be cool and accepted. To be wanted and loved.

And then I realized that shaking them back into reality wouldn't help, because this IS their reality. Especially in the city, these poor little girls live in a sex and drug saturated culture. One that tells them that they, even in their pre-pubescent bodies, need to be "hot" and sexy to warrant a man's attention. And the end result of attracting a man with your sexuality is, well, sex. And the world tells you that you will finally be loved by taking this route. But when this strategy fails miserably, there's drugs to dull the pain. And repeat.

So I'm having one of those how-do-I-protect-my-kids-from-the-world-without-burying-them-under-a-rock-until-they're-thirty kind of days. And really, I don't know. And that's frightening. But I know their precious little lives are in God's hands, and there's no better place for them to be. I also know that as parents, we are important. What you say to your kids is important. What you do, how you live, is even more important.

Be the kind of man or woman that you want them to be, starting today. And you know what, talk to them about sex, even if it's awkward. Because you better believe that the world's messages about it are coming through loud and clear.

Be louder. We owe it to them.



#I'msonotreadyforallthis
#staylittleforever

#prettyplease

June 3

June 2

First official day of summer vacation!!

June 1: Anniversary Weekend, Take 3

My sweet husband brought me coffee in bed! :)

So long, trendy hotel. We are on to greener pastures {i.e., unmade beds, laundry that needs folded, white walls covered in fingerprints... Otherwise known as home.}.

I saw a turquoise wall. I couldn't help myself. It's like an involuntary reflex.

Pet art. It's in a category of its own.

There were many dogs out and about on this beautiful day! This little Boston works here.

LOVE this apartment building.

We found an Oil & Vinegar store! Finally a place where I could knock back straight up vinegar and it was completely socially appropriate. #bringonthefreesamples

You guys. If you are ever in Columbus, you MUST eat here!!

Not only did they plate it all cute, but it was the BEST gyro I have ever had. And that garlic sauce, to die for!

With those prices, they'd better apologize...

Target shopping.

Poor little Eva was pretty tired after her fun weekend! Lol. It was so good to see these crazy kids! :)

May 31: Anniversary Weekend, Take 2

Found a great local diner for breakfast! 

A necessity.

Sweet little succulents, where have you been all my life??

New project upon returning home: build a terrarium. Or many terrariums.

Sunny selfie. :)

Ohmygoodness, I haven't eaten here in forever, and it was awesome.

#lookup

Perfect weather All. Day. Long.