February 28

February 26

I LOVE the clothing closeouts at Marc's!! It's like a vortex that draws me in EVERY TIME and eats all my clothing money. But at least I get my money's worth! 3 summer dresses (come on, summer!!), athletic shorts, and a dressy tank top for $19. Boom.

Eva shared the taco dip with me for dinner. You can tell. It's been Beva-fied.

Clayton was writing up his report tonight in his very best handwriting, & he was doing a great job! He said, "it's my best secret." I asked what was, & he said, "my neat handwriting. I only bring out my messy handwriting at school." I said, "yes, that is a very well-kept secret!"

February 25

February 24

February 22

SICK...

February 21

February 20

February 19

Grandma Debbie day! I got lost in the craft store. I wandered all over the store, browsing & perusing here & there. I finally started getting tired & thirsty, only to look down at the time & find that I'd been in there for two hours... Yikes. But I had a 20% off coupon! :)

February 18

February 17

February 16

February 15

I've always wanted to be a princess and Shine! Shine! Forever! 

And have a cat. 

{Ruby, age 5}

February 14

Happy Valentine's Day!!

February 13

Toby desperately wanted to read this animal book this morning, & he wanted to see the bird that "tears off your skin" {i.e., the Bald Eagle with the curved beak}. Boys... Where do they get that stuff?

February 12

February 11

February 10

Parenting tip #267: Solo cups are much like empty cardboard boxes in that they provide endless hours, no, days, of entertainment. Keep a pack of them on hand at all times to use in the event of an attack on your sanity.

Eva was squealing with excitement while she chased the kids around the house today with her shirt pulled up. We called her the "Belly Monster."  :)

February 8

February 7

Today I showered and put on earrings. Toby saw the earrings and asked me where we were going. I told him to pick up the kids from school. "Then where?" he asked. I said I thought we would swing by the grocery store on the way home. "And then where??" Apparently it needs to be a rather monumental occasion for me to look presentable when leaving the house… 

#iguessididwearyogapantsallweek 

#momuniform

#needtoworkonthat

That cute, wonderful baby of mine was up half the night screaming. We probably only got 3 hours of sleep, if that… It looks like she was tired today. I wonder why.  >:-[

I'm loving this new line of organic stuff at Aldi!!! If they have it, I will buy it. 

And I attempted to make bread. It wasn't very good. I didn't deviate from the recipe, but I didn't allow for all the time it needed to rise. It ended up very dense. I'd love to learn how to make a good, homemade loaf of bread, so I'll give it another go at some point. 

Ruby had her 100th Day Celebration at school today, and she painstakingly put all 100 Fruit Loops in rainbow order on her necklace. 

2013

February 6

February 5

Remember the four flats of organic strawberries I got a few months ago? That bag is all we have left. 

Ya.

#itsnotspringyet 

#needmorestrawberries

February 4: A Standard of Grace

Just about every single piece of silverware we own was dirty. The dishes were about the same. Laundry day was yesterday, and there's still a rumpled, smelly pile of clothes on the floor yet to be touched. It's now Tuesday, but I still haven't managed to shake my terrible case of "the Monday's."  

Can I blame it on the fact that we ran out of coffee?? I'm not sure about that, but I was kind of shocked at how much the lack of it affected my energy level respectively. According to the article I just read, I need to "address my diet & exercise, which is likely at the root of my fatigue." To which I responded, Exercise?? You mean I'm supposed to exercise? 

I'll be sure to get right on that. 

As I was half falling asleep on the couch this morning while Toby watched Batman, I thought about all the things I'd failed to do already this week as a mom, & it's only Tuesday. I'd completely blown off the routine & accomplished very little except snuggling on the couch with Toby & cooking meals. Believe me, I have all the dishes to prove it. They're still dirty. I just keep shoving the dirty pots over and get out a clean one. Hey, I can still get to one of the burners on the stove, & that's all you really need, right?

I glanced around at the mess of a family room with toys everywhere and piles of unfolded laundry, and I thought, why isn't it ok to have a "bad mom day" every once in a while? After all, we have bad hair days, sick days, fat days--what's the difference? Why does what I perceive to be a failure in my purview as a mother affect my very identity & worth?

It does because being a mother is not just something I do, it's who I am. In my mind I become a failure as a person. Someone who just can't live up to the standard of a "good mother." Someone who isn't creative enough, crafty enough, loving enough, tidy enough, efficient enough, Pinteresty enough, fun enough. Someone who isn't... Enough.

My failures in motherhood affect my very core, and suddenly, I'm not just having a bad day or a bad moment, but I'm a bad mom.

I just yelled and screamed at them AGAIN. I'm such a bad mom!

I forgot to put their lunch in their bookbag! What kind of mother doesn't remember to pack lunch?!?! I'm such a bad mom. 

I didn't notice that their shoes were too small, or that they had a rash, or that their toenails were ingrown, or or or... I'm such a bad mom!

I didn't get any of the laundry put away, AGAIN... I'm such a bad mom...

I snapped at them and corrected them harshly, and they were just being kids. I hurt their feelings. I'm such a bad mom...

The reality is, people mess up, every day. This includes moms, especially myself. Why I seem to hold myself to this illusionary standard of perfection is a mystery to me, but I'm sure I'm not the only one. I was able to acknowledge that impossible standard today, and I propose a standard of grace instead. 

Bad mom moments or bad mom days are just that--chunks of time that will come and go. They don't define who you are as a mother or a person any more then cheating on your diet nullifys all the weight you've lost. It's the process that counts, the journey as a whole. It's saying I'm sorry, it's getting up again tomorrow and by the grace of God, trying again. It's not living in the shadow of your mistakes but allowing them to help refine and shape the person you're becoming. 

Allow yourself a standard of grace today. You're doing a good job, mama!!

February 3

February 2: SOUPer Bowl

Third place. Not too shabby! 

February 1

I made a deal with Eva tonight. I told her that I would feed her my yummy homemade popcorn for the rest of her life if she agreed to stay little. She looked at me and shoved more popcorn in her mouth.


I'll take that as a yes.

2013