October 30

Holy moly I'm tired... I stayed up way too late last night {read, 1 a.m.}, and I'm just dragging today. I can no longer handle the late nights like I did in my youth. I'm old.

Now I'm carb loading and going to sleep. :)

October 29

October 28

I know it may seem small and insignificant, but it's not about what it is. It's about what it can become. That's not "just a seed" any more then you're "just a boy." 

~The Once-Ler

October 27

Forgot to photograph the first part of my day {it really did happen even though it doesn't appear here. I know that's hard to imagine.}, but here's the rest of it.

October 26

October 25

Vanilla Chia Pudding

If you're a fan of tapioca pudding in the slightest, then you will LOVE this Vanilla Chia Pudding. The fat in the coconut milk makes it rich and creamy, and with the Chia Seeds and other real ingredients, it's a pudding that's actually good for you! Chia seeds are tiny but pack a lot of nutritional power, and they are an excellent source of fiber, Omega-3's, Calcium, Manganese, Phosphorus, and protein. Chia seeds also stabilize blood sugar and help regulate appetite, sleep, and improve mood. Make this pudding the night before for a quick and delicious breakfast in the morning or to snack on throughout the day.

     

Vanilla Chia Pudding

1 can full-fat Coconut Milk

1/3 cup Chia Seeds

2 tablespoons pure maple syrup

1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

Combine all ingredients in a pint size mason jar. It will be filled to the brim--you'll be sure that it won't all fit, but it will. Trust me. Note: In order for it not to overflow, you must measure lightly {i.e., no heaping tablespoons or cups}. Or you can just remove a tablespoon of the coconut milk initially to give yourself some wiggle room. Screw the lid on and shake to combine. Refrigerate overnight.

Enjoy!! It's great by itself or mixed with fruit. As you can see, it's a much healthier {and I think tastier!} option then the store bought pudding, pictured below. Try different flavor combinations by swapping the vanilla out for cocoa powder or caramel.

October 24: Moments of Silence

The storm is brewing outside on this chilly day again, and the house is quiet. A little boy down for a nap and the two bigs at school just leaves me, typing on the computer, and the baby, toddling about and playing. There are a million things that need to be done--laundry that needs folded, dishes that need loaded and washed, floors that need picked up and swept--but I find myself lost in my thoughts in the peace and quiet. The clanging dishes would ruin the silence, surely.

But it's not total silence. I hear the dryer spinning clothes that will come out smelling wonderful. I hear the fire crackling ever so slightly in the fireplace. The occasional rumble of thunder, the dog snoring. And then there's Eva. I hear the pitter patter of her little jammied feet as she walks around under the kitchen table. She fits perfectly under there standing up, which will only be the case for a short while. I hear her sweet little voice saying, la-la-la and da-da. She brings me a plastic spoon and her shoe, little treasures that she's been carrying around. Her smile is contageous and her little cheeks are so soft. She's completely content just milling about, exploring this and that, unloading, unpacking, touching, tasting, and moving on to the next thing.

I love days like this, and I've been so blessed to be able to be home with her and watch her experience the world. Life will be so different at some point without a little one roaming about. I wonder if I'll know what to do with myself? My eyes are tearing up at the thought of it. I know that there are blessings in children growing up. Being able to witness and experience the shaping and development of people who will grow up to make a difference in the world is awesome.

I think part of me will miss the moments of silence, because, let's face it, the older they get, the LOUDER and more crazy they seem to get. Silence helps me to reflect, enjoy, think and focus on the blessings in the moment. After 4:00 when they get home from school, I feel like life is in fast-forward. The moments are there and gone before I have a millisecond to ponder them. We talk about the day, do homework, make dinner, do baths, read books, and then it's time for bed. There's normally running and screaming and fighting and playing and laughing intermixed with me trying to get things done or picked up, but not much silence. Probably no silence. In fact, if you asked the kids what silence is, I'm sure they'd have no clue.

Since moments of silence or peace don't naturally seem to exist in my house, I suppose I need to make an effort to create them. But not total silence. Quiet enough to hear small voices as they share details about their day. To notice the excitement or hurt in their voice as they talk. Peaceful enough to enjoy their laughter as they play on the floor or run around in circles. Still enough to sit on the edge of their bed when I tuck them in, praying with them and listening to whispers of secrets, hopes & dreams. 

To be still in my soul, doing only what God has for me to do in this moment and nothing more.

October 23

October 22

I walked into Starbucks this morning in my pajama pants that are floods on a good day. I call this look "desperation." 

If What God Says About Me is True, Then What?

Y'all remember If-Then statements from Geometry? Maybe you'd rather drink hot sauce then remember Geometry, or maybe you're geeking out right now at the mention of it, thinking yes I do!! I loved Geometry, and Algebra for that matter. All the logic, rules, & equations. I could do proofs All. Day. Long. Once you learned all the rules, it was so simple. I loved the challenge of figuring out how all the pieces of the puzzle fit together to form the correct solution.

a+b=c

There's only one solution, & there's a way to find it. Every time. Numbers don't lie or change like the shifting shadows. 1+1 doesn't decide to equal 3 today because 2 is PMSing & they'd really rather not be around her. 1+1 will always equal 2.

In an If-Then Statement, the first part after the "if" is called the hypothesis, and the second part after the "then" is called the conclusion. The If-Then statement is considered true if the conclusion is true. Stay with me, I'm getting to the point...

I'm doing some personal research for an upcoming event and would like to know how you would complete this If-Then Statement:

IF what God says about me {listed below} is really true, THEN what?

My {Identity} in Christ

I am a child of God. {John 1:12}

I am a branch of the true vine, a conduit of Christ’s life. {John 15:1,5}

I am a friend of Jesus. {John 15:15}

I have been justified and redeemed. {Romans 3:24}

My old self was crucified with Christ, and I am no longer a slave to sin. {Romans 6:6}

I will not be condemned by God. {Romans 8:1}

I have been set free from the law of sin and death. {Romans 8:2}

As a child of God, I am a fellow heir with Christ. {Romans 8:17}

I have been accepted by Christ. {Romans 15:7}

I have been called to be a saint. {1 Corinthians 1:2, Ephesians 1:1, Philippians 1:1, and Colossians 1:2}

In Christ Jesus, I have wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption. {1 Corinthians 1:30}

My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who dwells in me. {1 Corinthians 6:19}

I am joined to the Lord and am one spirit with Him. {1 Corinthians 6:17}

God leads me in the triumph and knowledge of Christ. {2 Corinthians 2:14}

The hardening of my mind has been removed in Christ. {2 Corinthians 3:14}

I am a new creature in Christ. {2 Corinthians 5:17}

I have become the righteousness of God in Christ. {2 Corinthians 5:21}

I have been made one with all who are in Christ Jesus. {Galatians 3:28}

I am no longer a slave, but a child and an heir. {Galatians 4:7}

I have been set free in Christ. {Galatians 5:1}

I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. {Ephesians 1:3}

I am chosen, holy, and blameless before God. {Ephesians 1:4}

I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of Christ. {Ephesians 1:7}

I have been predestined by God to obtain an inheritance. {Ephesians 1:11}

I have been sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise. {Ephesians 1:13}

Because of God’s mercy and love, I have been made alive with Christ. {Ephesians 2:4-5}

I am seated in the heavenly places with Christ. {Ephesians 2:6}

I am God’s workmanship created to produce good works. {Ephesians 2:10}

I have been brought near to God by the blood of Christ. {Ephesians 2:13}

I am a member of Christ’s body and a partaker of His promise. {Ephesians 3:6 & 5:30}

I have boldness and confident access to God through faith in Christ. {Ephesians 3:12}

My new self is righteous and holy. {Ephesians 4:24}

I was formerly darkness, but now I am light in the Lord. {1 John 1:5-7}

I am a citizen of heaven. {Philippians 3:20}

The peace of God guards my heart and mind. {Philippians 4:7}

God supplies all my needs. {Philippians 4:19}

I have been made complete in Christ. {Colossians 2:10}

I have been raised up with Christ. {Colossians 3:1}

My life is hidden with Christ in God. {Colossians 3:3}

Christ is my life, and I will be revealed with Him in glory. {Colossians 3:4}

I have been chosen of God, and I am holy and beloved. {Colossians 3:12}

God loves me and has chosen me. {1 Thessalonians 1:4}

Sound off in the comments or on Facebook!! If it's not too much trouble, I'd appreciate it if you'd share this post--the more answers the better! I'd love as diverse a response as I can get. Thanks for your time and answers!

October 21

Eva is 11 months old!

October 20: Just Keep Walking, Just Keep Walking...

Tomorrow Eva will be 11 months old... Hard to believe!! And there was something different about her today: she'd take a few steps & fall, same as usual for the past few weeks, but instead of admitting defeat and crawling the rest of the way, she GOT BACK UP and took a few more steps. Just stood up, right where she was, without holding onto anything, & kept right on going. Kept going until she made it. Perseverance. 

There's a great life lesson for ya there, folks. Let's all get back up & keep going. God can use all the broken pieces, broken hearts, broken dreams & broken people for His glory if we let Him.

Will you?

October 17: Dear Clayton

Clayton was the MVP in his class at school this week. He was excited & had been "looking forward to it for a long time!" He got to share his favorite things with the class & tell them all about himself.

Favorite food: burgers {spelled "brgr"} & brownies

Favorite color: orange & blue

What he wants to be when he grows up: a police officer

We had to send a letter in for him today that his teacher read to him in front of the class. This is what we sent:

Dear Clayton,

God blessed us with our first little baby—it was you!

We were so excited, and the grandparents were, too.

We waited for you to come, all through the night.

The labor was long and gave us a fright.

With only one kidney, you were born a fighter,

Sent back from the nursery for a screamin-all-nighter.

Tucked snug in the carseat, so much bigger then you,

We brought you home and wondered, now what do we do?

So many questions about raising this sweet little babe,

Knowing we would fall short with many mistakes made.

But we loved you and squeezed you and held you tight,

And eventually you learned to sleep through the night.

We fed you and tickled you and watched you grow,

Soon you were crawling and shaking your head, “no!”

You loved sweet potatoes, cars, and big bouncy balls,

And you always had energy enough to jump off the walls.

From a young age you liked candy and all kinds of sprays,

Using them all over the house, including stairs and hallways.

You were born curious and with a desire to create,

To think outside the box and you will be great.

Your thoughtfulness and helpfulness are traits that we love,

We know they are gifts from our Father above.

You’re a natural born leader who can change the world

Once the flag of maturity is finally unfurled.

A boy who is kind, adventurous, crazy, and fun,

We are so very proud to call you our son.

We love you so much more then words can say,

And we know that God has great plans for you someday.

Love Mom and Dad

October 19

October 18: It's Hard to Be Cool

This morning I came back downstairs after running up to get my laptop. As I neared the bottom step, I saw Clayton, disguised as Wolverine, running towards me with a Nerf gun. In an effort to be funny & play along, I take off running down the hallway into the kitchen. I had this supercool move all planned out in my head where I would effortlessly toss the plate that I was also carrying into the sink as I ran by, round the corner into the living room & keep going, evading the oncoming bullets.

But something went terribly wrong. I don't know if it was the dog or my pant leg that got in the way, or simply just too much "supercool" multitasking, but I completely missed the sink and dropped my laptop on the floor. Actually, I dropped my self on the floor, with the laptop. Completely biffed, crashed to the floor and slammed into the dishwasher. Scraped up my ankle, knee, elbow & fingers. The kids were laughing at me, of course, & Clayton said, "Um, Mom? Maybe you shouldn't be running in the house..."

Yes, thank you for that. I like my advice best served cold with a side of eat-your-own-words.

#wonderwhereheheardthatbefore

In other news, this wonderful husband of mine proposed to me on a beach 10 years ago today on Sweetest Day. He had it all planned out so beautifully & I had no clue. Totally surprised. And I said "yes!" of course, but not before I said, "are you kidding me?!?!?!", which I will never live down. EVER.

Good memories & a great 10 years. We are blessed!

October 16

Quite the appropriate bible passage for today after my post last night. I kinda chuckled to myself--God does know exactly what we need when we need it. And before my feet hit the ground this morning, late, I did remember to love with beauty. To make a conscious choice to be kind, encouraging & give life. Beautiful. 

I write mostly because I need to for me. To flesh out the things God is teaching me in my own life and attempt to cement them into my heart. But it's a bonus if someone else benefits in the process!

October 15: Love with Beauty

"Today when you nurture, love & meet the needs of your beloveds with beauty, it will make a difference in how they face their whole day." 

~Sally Clarkson

I read that quote yesterday, and it stuck with me. It's pretty powerful that your actions have the ability to make or break the day of someone else. I think it hit me hard because the mornings before sending the kids off to school at the end of last week were especially rough {read: tired, cranky momma, lacking patience and grace and yelling at children. Rushing, nagging and otherwise putting everyone else in a foul mood and/or making them feel lousy, then expecting them to run off to school and "have a good day." Savvy? Yes, I believe I just channeled Jack Sparrow. But that has nothing to do with the story. Moving on.} Then Clayton got sent to the office Thursday and again on Friday for reacting in anger and being physical with his peers. If he hits another kid, he will be suspended. Coincidence? Hmmm.

And even tonight I caught myself on three different occasions reacting to Clayton in anger before giving him a chance to explain or trying to understand what transpired. And I made him cry. Each time. Mom fail. Although I was quick to apologize, the anger still hurts. I know.

So what would it look like to "nurture, love and meet the needs of your beloveds with beauty?" Well, I've learned a little about beauty from the book Captivating {by John & Stasi Eldredge}, and it is a powerful thing. Here's what they say about beauty:

• Beauty Speaks: It tells us, all will be well. "There is room for your soul...you can breathe again. You can rest. It is good. All is well." Peace. Calmness.

• Beauty Invites: "You want to enter in, explore, partake of it, feast upon it...It draws you in, holds your attention. You can't wait to get back to it, spend time with it." Captivating. Enjoyable to be around.

• Beauty Nourishes: It offers life. In word and deed.

• Beauty Comforts: "There is something profoundly healing about it...It soothes the soul."

• Beauty Inspires: It calls us to something higher. It lets us know that life can be better. Ignites imaginations. Fuels dreams.

• Beauty is Transcendent: "It is our most immediate experience of the eternal...Sometimes the beauty is so deep that it pierces us with longing. For what? For life as it was meant to be...Beauty speaks of heaven to come, when all shall be beautiful. It haunts us with eternity. Beauty says, there is a glory calling to you. And if there's glory, there is a source of glory...Beauty draws us to God."

Wow.

Beauty draws us to God. Lord, before my feet hit the ground tomorrow morning, probably late, as usual, would you fill me with more of You and less of me. Help me to nurture, love, and meet the needs of my beloveds with beauty, in Your strength.


Every experience of beauty points to [eternity].  ~Hans Urs Von Balthasar

What aspect of beauty stuck out to you, and how can you apply that to loving those in your life better?

October 13

October 12: Tattoo Fundraiser

My Relay for Life team had a tattoo fundraiser today, & I got one. I was a sweaty, nervous, hot mess. Hi, my name is Jacqui. It's been almost ten years since my last tattoo, and I'm scared to death. {Hi Jacqui.} My pep talk to myself was as follows: "Woman, you've had 4 kids!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!"

I know it's a small tattoo, but it hurt like hades. About halfway through I was like, I'M READY FOR THE EPIDURAL NOW!! I'm a wuss. And actually what I thought was halfway through really wasn't... He got to the end, and just as I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking we were done, he says, "I need to go over it one more time..." Slightly into the second round, he says "I'll just need to go over it five more times." I was like, "WHAT?!?!?" He was messing with me. You know, trying to crack a joke while he's repeatedly stabbing me with a needle. So not funny...

And then when we were done done, he says, "it might need touched up once it heals. See how it looks. You can come back in anytime." 

Ok. I'll get right on that. Like, maybe ten years from now.

October 11

October 10

October 9

The kids got their school pictures back, and they're really cute! I love their sweet smiles. :) I noticed the "standard" child safety cards in with their photos, and my heart became heavy... There is so much evil in the world that having an ID card in the event that your child should go missing is "standard." I know that photos save lives & you should always be prepared, but the thought of it all just makes me sick. 

So, in an effort to make myself feel better, I research. Child safety, prevention, tips, statistics on child abduction & exploitation. This is what I do instead of running to God sometimes. I know it's not right, but it makes me feel like I have some amount of control over the matter. Also, I get very smart about the things I freak out about. Ask me anything you want about black mold, bed bugs, rashes, or poop, & I can tell ya. Add child abduction to the list. 

But research doesn't really make me feel better. I searched for sex offenders within  a mile of our home, because I was just cruising along the information highway, and guess how many it found? 

10? No. 

25, you say? Nope. 

50?!?! Nah.

87. 

That is not a number that helps you sleep at night. Clearly, I am not in control, and when I try to be, I really suck at it. I know The Lord doesn't call us to live in fear & is in perfect control of our lives, whether we acknowledge it or not. And He is good. I will rest in that tonight.

October 8

October 7

"It's true that some women's lives look perfect from a distance. But only from a distance. Often we are tempted to compare ourselves with other women. We compare ourselves to their looks, their lives. We can diminish the sorrow of our own personal histories by knowing a friend with a much more painful history. That is an unwise thing to do. Your life matters. Your joys, your sorrows matter."

~Captivating {Small Group Study Guide}, John & Stasi Eldredge

If we could read the secret histories of our enemies we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

October 5

Birthday party central!

October 4

October 3

October 2: We Have a Walker!

So, something really cool happened today. I figured out that I can imbed a 30 second video into my day collage!! How cool is that? Now it won't just be my day, but my day in animation... Oh the possibilites with that one! Real life in real time. But even better than that...

EVA STARTED WALKING!! She took 5 steps two times, and I got the second try on video! The kids and I were right there for it. I was actually talking to Clayton about his behavior in school and she took a step. Right there. We all stopped what we were doing and almost held our breath. No one said a word. Five steps, and then she bottomed out. Much cheering and excitement. Our babe is growing up all too fast...


Or would this format be better, with the video seperate? In the above version, you can't really see the other pictures very well...

October 1

Starting to feel The Lord awaken some big dreams in my heart...